How To Tell Your Child You Are Going Through a Divorce

October 10, 2022

Divorce and separation can be sad, confusing, and stressful for your child. Starting a conversation with them can also be difficult and painful. However, you would rather face them than let them learn about it from other people. Imagine how upset and traumatized your child would get if someone else bluntly informed them that their mommy and daddy were going to stop living together.

Whether they are young or old enough to understand, it’s imperative to prepare and talk to them before making significant moves like moving out of the family home. If you’re unsure how to tell your child you’re going through a divorce, here are a few tips to help you tell them at any age.

1. Talk To Your Child Together

Even if you’re not on talking terms, it’s in the child’s best interest that you come together and discuss the divorce with your child. The presence of both parents can reassure your child that everything will be okay and you still love them as before. It also lets your child know you’re committed to working together as parents.

2. Plan What To Say

In your talk, you want to address key points such as who your son or daughter will live with and emphasize that both of you love him or her. Planning allows you to prepare when and how to approach your child. You can plan a holiday or wait for a special day such as their birthday if it’s coming up. This ensures you stick to the subject and avoid impulsively arguing or blurting things out in front of the child.

3. Explain Why It’s Happening

Most kids, especially older kids, will want to know why you’re getting a divorce. They will press for information to help them understand to what extent their lives are going to change. While you may not want to get into specific details, be prepared to explain without blame.

4. Let Them Know What Will Change

Your older child will want to know what things will change and what will stay the same. It’s essential to provide details such as where they will live, whether they need to change schools, and activities they will participate in. Be honest about what you know and discuss specific details with your partner before sharing the information with the child.

5. Show Love and Reassurance

Divoce with kids can be challenging, especially if you have children with different age gaps. That means each child handles the information differently, which makes it essential to show love and reassurance. Let your little one know that you will always be family. You may not be husband and wife anymore, but you will always be mom and dad.

6. Avoid Blaming

When discussing divorce with your child, the primary theme you want to reinforce is unity. No matter how painful and devastating your divorce appears, both parties must remain respectful towards each other when giving reasons for the separation.

If you’re going through a difficult divorce, you’re not alone. Reach out to the Law Offices of Granoff & Kessler to help you with any case you want to file, including child custody, child support, paternity, or divorce. Let us help you get the outcome you desire.

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